While reaching government office along with my scruffy old file in my shaky hands, I was totally up against anything odd or hard that could come up my way. I was expecting any sort of complete dissonance when the documents will be overturned, along with the interminable dawdling of the personnel that could bring to light the disappointment in me at the end. However, contrary was the case since I was glad to see the convivial environment with exuberant faces everywhere. In the array of officials I have been given a place close to them, as a gesture of honour to a senior citizen like me in my country.
The place was cosy, in addition to it, the colour of the chesterfield was also very vibrant – another reason for me to feel good about the venue. While I have been put on hold for some time, I began scrutinizing the trivia of the whole structure starting from the ridge of the wall till the sole of the foot: stepping in and out along the bay, walking past me, flinging arms by my side, those who need to either talk or hand over something to the person sitting opposite me. I was thinking to myself how I reached this age, how many times I experienced the ups and downs of my life. Then I pacified my perplexed mind by concluding that I could have got into some business as I was never so much cooperative in my entire life to my boss: always defying was my attitude. Had I been so sycophantic, I would have actually beaten up all my competitors, so today my file would have never been lying on this desk.

In anyways, I was born like this, moreover; my stubborn nature cannot take people away from me, as my wife, although typically stereotype, is a true example of tolerating me for my rigidity. She could have left me but she loves me deeply, besides I have heard this adage that people who love can never leave their loved ones. Though, I am confident about the fact that I deserve love, as love begets love, that is the reason my wife loves me. Suddenly, the man sitting across the table called somebody’s name bringing me back to the life with the hope that finally my waiting time is over. A man in simple clothes with a pair of newly bought slippers popped in the cabin and asked, “Yes Sir”.
The person in charge asked me, “Would you like some tea, as I am going to have, it is a teatime break, in any case. I refused straightway thinking it might be taken otherwise, besides my seriousness towards my task would not be valued so much then.
My refusal could not make his face frowned as it was not actually a denial of any relationship that a newly boyfriend has showed to a desperate girl who is looking for a dashing and handsome boy, but unfortunately, the only eligible bachelor in the entire town.
I kept watching him when he was sipping his hot tea, at the same time nibbling the biscuits and frequently dipping it in the tea while looking into his new sleek Samsung Tab 2 for any incoming message on “Whatapps” messenger. This “Whatapps” generation has really brought a lot of revolution in our conflict zone where local messages do not work, but people chat or send messages without any fear of losing 1 rupee from their total balance, as the main network has to be kept on in order to enjoy the quick downloading, exchanging of any sort of video, song, pictures etc.
He glanced at me with a smile while typing long words in no time with his fingers on the touch screen, zooming in and out pictures that need to be sent.
I was amused as he was very fast in typing something with his thick and short fingers in a joyous manner that I guessed ,”must be his new girlfriend”?
He finished typing and kept his Samsung at one corner of the table with dejection in his eyes when he saw a pile of papers (subjected to duly sign.)
He called the young man in simple clothes again and ordered him to clear the table giving him some source of oxygen to breathe in, accompanied by sense of freedom to feel free.
I excused him before the man could take all the files from the table by saying that the faded yellow file belonged to me and needed to be kept in front of me. He just scoffed at me, tossed it onto the table treating it as a dirty linen throwing in for a laundry.
Two hours have just passed, giving me no clue of how the clock hands moved with a subtle signal of its smooth functionality in every tick it would make. Now I had this heart set on the end of the prolonged delay, racing inside me against time. Finally, my turn came, flipping through the pages, the official pinpointed the error and noticed one page of the form needs to be photocopied so that the case could be moved forward. He called him again to do the photocopy of one page which he ripped off from the entire folder.
Man took it and left. His leave was for all eternity, holding me back to the same point where I tried to handle my perplexed heart from drowning in deep regret as well as despair. Now, I know it was all destined, that is why my son would not have gone to that place where I always anxiously and perpetually think of going. Had I been a business person I would not have persuaded him for further studies. With proud I should say, my son is getting education from one of the best universities of the world. My achievement, Isn’t it? But, what about the incessant taunting by my wife that sometimes agitates me to the core of my heart. For that, my conscience convinces me that I am a loser throughout my life. If I see the other side of the coin I am privileged to have her in my life, she does take care of my food habits. She knows I am a profound gourmand without any doubt. Probably, that is why she makes things for me in a way to please me. If I could succeed in the pension retrieval case, I am going to buy something special for her on the oncoming festival. That is for sure!
“Sure, we will look into the case but as of now we are going to close for lunch, if you want to go for a break then come back after 2pm”The officer got up from the seat saying these lines. I was left alone, startlingly, turbulent emotions kept me tucked in again to the place where I was, for last few hours. I gasped shortly, “Oh, Ok, No problem” thinking that I have to come back in any case.
I thought of opening my bag and check if there is any call from my home which I might have missed. My home page was clean, displaying no missed calls or messages.
I thought of taking a nap as I was quite tired of analysing the situation profoundly, now my condition led me to directionless thought process. So sleep was the only remedy for my anxious mind. In my deep sleep, I dreamt of being a person currently with no money problems at all, capable of buying all good things for my wife. At this juncture, I was about to eat what she had cooked for me, immediately I was shaken by someone. I managed to settle down, hoping that my file would at last get closed as a result, the fixed amount which I expected would be disbursed. Lunch had broken the continuity of people going to and fro from the chamber till the end of the door. The less appearance of people crossing my way relieved my tension and eventually, my case would be treated on priority case. At last, the simply dressed person appeared once again and stood out at the table. I expected this appearance as his last. I prayed he should not be needed anymore so that the signature would find the reason to get validated on my papers. I asked,” is that anything else I need to do”, for that he replied that he would send the case to the next person aligned for this case, from there I need to do the follow up. Maybe, next week I have to show up again for further details. Now I have another week to prepare myself for anything odd that may come up my way.
This means that my waiting time is not over yet.
(The author is a Bangalore based corporate trainer in English & French languages)