In many Kashmiri homes, a wedding is planned not as a simple, sacred beginning, but as a public showpiece. Parents save for decades and, when the time comes, feel pushed to “do something big.” Savings alone are not enough, so they take personal loans, mortgage gold, or even sell land to add more dishes, louder bands and brighter lights. For two days the mohalla praises the “royal function.” After that, only the EMIs and regret remain.When a marriage starts with debt, the new couple begins life under a financial burden they never created. Every month the husband must juggle instalments, rent, groceries and relatives’ expectations. He cannot fully provide what his wife rightly needs, so tension slowly enters the relationship. The same relatives who enjoyed the feast now whisper, “Why can’t they manage their home properly?” The wedding photos show smiles; daily life shows worry and arguments.The wife and children carry the deepest scars. The wife lives in a house where money is always short and every small requirement feels like a favour. She hears, directly or indirectly, “We spent so much on your marriage,” and carries guilt for a decision taken by others. When children are born into this atmosphere, they breathe in stress instead of comfort.
They watch their parents fight about EMIs, school fees and in‑laws, and they learn that marriage means pressure, not peace.In many Kashmiri families, the situation becomes worse because the bride’s parents keep sending money after marriage. Out of love and fear for their daughter, they pay for clothes, medical bills, even some EMIs. The girl’s father turns into a permanent ATM, sacrificing his own retirement and his other children’s future. Meanwhile, the son‑in‑law’s home never learns to stand on its own feet. One big wedding now weakens two households: the daughter’s new family and her parents’ old one. A poor father of a daughter may remain poor forever if he keeps financing someone else’s responsibility.The saddest part is how this pattern repeats.
A child growing up in such a home sees that status in Kashmir comes from big halls, long caravans of cars and heavy gold—not from savings, education or honest business. When his or her own marriage is discussed years later, the same sentence returns: “We must do something big. Log kya kahenge?” Thus one loan‑funded wedding becomes the starting point of a cycle that can damage three generations:Grandparents lose land, health and savings.Parents (the couple) lose peace, respect and a clean financial start.Children lose security, opportunity and good examples to follow.A loan for education, a productive business or a simple, affordable home can build the future of a Kashmiri family. But a loan for one night of food, music and decoration builds nothing.
It does not increase income or create assets; it only burns our past effort and steals our future possibilities. Guests forget the menu in a week, but the family remembers the EMI date for twenty years.Conclusion: For Kashmir’s Future, Say No to Loan Marriage kashmir will not become strong through louder bands and bigger wedding halls; it will become strong through debt‑free homes, educated children and stable families. A marriage financed by loans and sold land is not honour; it is a beautifully wrapped disaster. True dignity lies in a simple, affordable nikah and walima held within real income, without borrowing and without turning the bride’s parents into lifelong paymasters.If Kashmiri fathers and mothers decide today that there will be no loans, no land sales and no lifetime support for show‑off weddings, we can break this chain in a single generation. Our children will then inherit not our EMIs, but our assets, skills and self‑respect. The real question for every family is no longer “Log kya kahenge?” but “Bachchon ko kya milega?”
Irshad Mushtaq
Irshad Mushtaq is a Jammu and Kashmir-based financial market intermediary, educator, and columnist. He is the founder and proprietor of MI Securities and has been active on trading terminals in Kashmir since 2004. He is a SEBI-registered Authorised Person with Mirae Asset Sharekhan, an AMFI-registered Mutual Fund Distributor (ARN-47504), and an IRDAI-licensed insurance intermediary. He also holds the required NISM certifications in equity, derivatives, currency, commodities, mutual funds, and portfolio management under Indian regulations.
His articles, videos, and talks focus on general investor education and encourage long-term, disciplined investing within SEBI, AMFI, and IRDAI guidelines. They do not offer personalised investment advice or recommendations to buy, sell, or hold any security, mutual fund, or insurance product. Investors should evaluate their own risk profile, read all official documents carefully, and consult appropriately registered advisers when needed.
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