By Irshad Mushtaq
A wedding lasts a few days. Its financial burden can last for years.
A beautiful house may impress visitors, yet leave its owners struggling with repayments and maintenance. A new car may attract admiration, while the family quietly worries about school fees or medicines.
These contrasts raise an uncomfortable question: are we becoming financially stronger, or simply becoming better at appearing prosperous?
The “show-off economy” describes spending driven primarily by social approval, competition and the fear of judgment. It is not an official economic category, nor is there a verified government estimate of its size in Kashmir. Nevertheless, local reporting on expensive weddings, borrowing and social expectations makes it a legitimate subject for public discussion.
The problem is not prosperity. It is pressure. There is nothing wrong with celebrating success or enjoying one’s earnings. The danger begins when another family’s lifestyle becomes our financial obligation.
WHEN “WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY?” BECOMES A HOUSEHOLD EXPENSE
Many financial decisions should begin with a simple question: what can we comfortably afford?
Under social pressure, that question can change into: what will people say if we spend less?
The difference is significant. One considers the family’s future; the other considers the audience.
Research links wealth comparisons with stress and reduced well-being. This does not mean that every expensive purchase causes distress, but it supports taking comparison-driven spending seriously.
A healthy society should allow a family to choose a modest wedding, a smaller home or an older vehicle without treating that choice as failure.
WEDDINGS: HONOUR THE TRADITION, QUESTION THE COMPETITION
Wazwan is part of Kashmir’s cultural identity and hospitality. The concern is not the tradition itself, but the expectation that every family must finance an increasingly elaborate version of it.
Local accounts describe expanding menus, multiple functions, jewellery, decorations, photography and gifts becoming sources of financial pressure. Some reports describe families borrowing or using savings to meet marriage expectations. These experiences should not be generalised into an unsupported claim about every Kashmiri household, but neither should they be dismissed.
The cost is more than the final bill. Money spent to satisfy social expectations is no longer available for the couple’s education, housing, business or emergency needs.
This is opportunity cost: every financial choice means giving up another possible use of money.
A dignified marriage should be measured by consent, mutual respect and the couple’s future—not by the number of dishes served. Daughters are not financial burdens. Coercive expectations are.
VISIBLE POSSESSIONS ARE NOT THE SAME AS FINANCIAL SECURITY
A large house, a good car and an expensive phone can all be reasonable purchases. Their suitability depends on income, needs and the full cost of ownership.
A home requires heating, maintenance and repairs. A vehicle requires insurance, fuel and servicing. A loan creates obligations long after the excitement of the purchase fades.
The real question is not whether a family can make the initial payment. It is whether it can sustain the purchase while meeting essential needs and protecting its future.
Financial security is often less visible than consumption. It includes accessible savings, manageable debt and the ability to withstand an interruption in income.
A household may look wealthy and still be financially fragile.
HEALTH: THE PRIORITY THAT SHOULD NOT WAIT
Official health data offer a powerful reminder that well-being deserves attention beyond ceremonial hospitality.
NITI Aayog’s State Nutrition Profile for Jammu and Kashmir, drawing on NFHS-5 data collected in 2019–20, reported overweight or obesity among approximately 29% of women aged 15–49 and 32% of men aged 15–54. It also reported anaemia among approximately 73% of children aged 6–59 months, 67% of non-pregnant women aged 15–49 and 44% of pregnant women in that age group.
These are rounded historical estimates for Jammu and Kashmir—not current 2026 figures or Kashmir Valley-only rates. They show why excess weight and nutritional deficiencies both deserve attention.
They do not prove that lavish weddings, Wazwan or social-display spending caused these conditions. Health outcomes have multiple determinants, and blaming one traditional meal would misrepresent the evidence.
The appropriate question is about everyday priorities. Do families protect resources for adequate nutrition, prescribed medicines and appropriate medical care? Or are these needs sometimes postponed while optional expenditure remains protected?
Guests see the arrangements for a few hours. Families live with their health every day.
PUBLIC HEALTH SUPPORT MATTERS—AND SO DOES PREPAREDNESS
Government investment has strengthened health financing nationally.
According to the National Health Accounts for 2021–22, the government’s share of India’s total health expenditure increased from 29% in 2014–15 to 48% in 2021–22. Over the same period, the out-of-pocket share declined from 62.6% to 39.4%. These are national figures, not Kashmir-specific estimates.
This progress deserves recognition. Public facilities and government-funded programmes are important protections for households. However, a decline in the national out-of-pocket share does not mean every family faces low medical expenses or that every service is covered. Families should understand their applicable benefits and prepare for expenses outside coverage.
Public support and household preparedness should strengthen each other.
SOCIAL MEDIA SHOWS THE DISPLAY, NOT THE ACCOUNTS
A photograph can show a holiday, a wedding stage or a new vehicle. It cannot show the household’s complete income, savings and liabilities.
Equally, an attractive photograph is not proof of hidden debt. The mistake is treating an incomplete image as a financial benchmark.
Social comparison research provides a basis for discussing stress and the pressure to keep up, without assuming that every social-media user experiences harm.
We should teach children that possessions do not establish personal worth. Young people should not feel unsuccessful because their lives do not resemble someone else’s carefully selected highlights. “I cannot afford this comfortably” should be an acceptable statement—not an admission of shame.
EDUCATION AND BUSINESS NEED SUBSTANCE, NOT JUST STATUS
The same thinking applies to education. Schools, coaching and devices should be assessed by suitability, learning value and sustainable cost—not reputation alone. For businesses, professional presentation can help, but it cannot replace customers, working capital and sound financial management.
Turnover is not profit. Borrowed money is not income. A grand opening does not establish a sustainable enterprise. These are useful tests for individual decisions, not accusations against every parent, institution or business in Kashmir.
The goal should be to invest in capabilities that last: knowledge, skills, customer trust and financial resilience.
SIMPLICITY MUST NOT BECOME AN ATTACK ON LIVELIHOODS
Celebrations support cooks, artisans, tailors, photographers, transport workers and other service providers. Their work deserves respect and fair payment.
The answer is not to stop celebrating. It is to separate voluntary enjoyment from compulsory display.
A family can organise a smaller function, preserve hospitality and pay workers fairly. Reducing unnecessary scale should not mean devaluing skilled labour.
Culture and financial discipline can coexist.
A MORE RESPONSIBLE STANDARD OF SUCCESS
Change begins with practical decisions:
Set the total budget before booking services.
Keep emergency and healthcare money separate.
Discuss financial limits honestly with relatives.
Give young couples a meaningful say in wedding expenditure.
Reject coercive gift expectations.
Consider the full cost of loans and major purchases.
Respect modest celebrations without questioning a family’s status.
Support people in need without compromising their dignity or privacy.
Community leaders and influential families can help by making simplicity socially acceptable. One household should not have to resist an entire network of expectations alone.
Public discussion must also remain evidence-based. Until reliable household research measures the issue, claims about its scale should be presented as observations or reporting questions—not invented statistics.
CONCLUSION: LET SECURITY, NOT DISPLAY, DEFINE PROSPERITY
Kashmir does not need less happiness. It needs happiness that remains affordable after the guests have gone.
Our traditions deserve preservation. Our workers deserve fair payment. Our families deserve the freedom to celebrate without fear of humiliation or financial exhaustion.
A beautiful wedding is a celebration. A healthy family is a lasting achievement. A comfortable home has value, but so does the peace of mind of those living inside it.
The strongest sign of prosperity is not how much a family can display. It is how securely, healthily and freely that family can live.
