As parents, we need to be aware of the fact that we are nurturing the miniature society in our lap. Almighty Allah has not created any creature without purpose and without capabilities. Humans are above all even better than the Angels.
Parenting is the most crucial and most beautiful role one plays in one’s life the child is born with some innate tendencies among them one is confidence.
It is the confidence which makes him cry when he needs feed. He knows that his cry will compel his mother to feed him. As parents, we need to boost that confidence in our child. We should not underestimate the capability and capacity of our child with each passing day; we need to make him reliant and independent so that he can do as per his age, capability and IQ.
We need to show unconditional love and respect to our children. The things which are based on conditions do not bear good results by unconditional love and respect I don’t mean blind love but that love which would stimulate him to do the best as per his capability this love should be stimulating mostly we see parents do not believe their children and this makes them irresponsible and introvert because such kids never believe on themselves and they even themselves remain unknown to their own capabilities and capacities.
It is the parent who makes them so that is the reason they are always dependent on others. Their talent remains hidden but the unconditional love and respect would develop a very balanced and socially adjusted being. Children reflect the same towards the people around them. This makes them socially and emotionally balanced one.
Mostly parents pamper their children, which is the worst thing that we as parents should avoid.
As such kids are indecisive and wavering in their lives they can never make their decisions on their own they always feel that they are not worth doing anything which otherwise they can do easily.
Parents should realise the potential of their children as parents we feel we love our children but in the broader sense, we are pushing them into a world of dependence and indecisiveness. We must instil in them self-confidence and self-reliance.
Children should be made responsible they should be involved in the chores, which they can do easily their opinion should be given due consideration one thing more we need to know no one can be exempted from flaws while dealing with our day to day life sometimes such thing happens with our lives which are not desirable or to say wrongdoings can happen by our children.
Here as parents, we should neither criticise nor punish them we need to counsel them on how it would be better than this. Wrongdoing cannot be ignored but our guided counselling can make our children do better. Our approach needs to be constructive, we need to instil in them the sense to differentiate between desirable and undesirable.
Undue criticism or undue freedom both spoil the child but guided counselling can bring fruitful results. We need to have an Eagle’s eye towards the development and behaviour of our children.
Mostly it is being observed that in our society parents compare their children with the high achievers of our society. We forget that almighty Allah has created every individual with different capabilities and capacities no two individuals are alike.
This comparison is the cause of instability and chaos among the present generation we should not expect from our children beyond their capacities and interests once we start expecting from them those things beyond their capability.
It makes them insecure and they treat themselves as failures we as parents are sowing the seeds of, rivalry toxic behaviour, unhealthy competition, loss of individuality and strained relationships. As parents, we must appreciate each child’s journey as per his capacities and individuality.
By unhealthy comparison and competition, we are making him less desirable for own self that is the reason we presently happen to see that the children who are not doing as per the expectations of their parents are becoming the victims of so many undesirable things they find the timely solace in the things which makes their whole life miserable. They find refuge in drugs and other such things.
Sometimes we happen to see that even they end up their lives as they feel ashamed for not being up to the expectations of their parents Almighty Allah has created every individual with unique capabilities and capacities who are we to compel them to be like this or that! Let us all accept or kids as they are and obviously the society would be full of balanced individuals.
Our trust, confidence, love would make them a very balanced and desirable human being but our callous attitude, blind love, pampering, expectancy and other such things make them socially and emotionally imbalanced. As parents, we need to be very cautious and vigilant while nurturing the miniature society in our lap!!!
Author: Nuzhat Rehman is a teacher from South Kashmir’s Shopian district.
