Srinagar: Men and women are made to wait longer to get married in contemporary Kashmir. Decade or so ago, average marriage age for women was early 20s and for men it was mid 20s.
In fact, it was hard to imagine someone unmarried in their thirties. Blame it to the emphasis on economic stability and extravagant weddings, the situation is quite different in present times and it surprise the society if someone gets married in twenties now.
Shahnaz, 34, a resident of Nawakadal, finds it hard to attend social gatherings as people often talk about her marriage. They usually talk, she says, about the “progress on marriage” and give blessings in return.
“I am fed-up of giving answers to my relatives,” says Shahnaz who belongs to lower middle class family and lives along with her younger brother and mother.
In 1995, the family lost their sole bread earner Ghulam Mohmmad Bhat due to heart attack, who was a carpet weaver by profession. This incident made Shahnaz to quit studies and choose the “Aari” work profession to support her family financially. She hardly earns Rs 3000 monthly and manages to full fill basic needs of life.
“I am elder one in my family, after my father’s death whole responsibility shifted on my shoulders. During this phase, marriage was never mulled” says Shahnaz.
Yamin, Shahnaz’s brother, recently completed secondary level studies, and he has joined a BPO office to support his family.
Now if any one approaches her for marriage Shahnaz’s age and qualification becomes a hindrance.
Delay in Shahnaz’s marriage might be fiscal but there are many boys and girls who have to wait years for getting perfect partner in accordance to their status.
Rifat, 35, belonging to upper middle class family is waiting for her perfect match from last seven years. The most painful thing for her, she says, is to attend marriage ceremony of a person younger to her.
“When I attend marriage party of a girl who is younger than me, people often use me as an example, like bride is younger to her. It hurts,” says Rifat.
Rifat says that her parents always set unique benchmark for her groom: “they want every quality which in real sense isn’t achievable.”
A study by Department of Sociology, University of Kashmir, titled ‘Emergence of Late Marriages in Kashmir,’ in 2009 found poverty, caste considerations, generation gap, modernization, inflation, irreligious attitudes and behavior among influences to delayed marriages in Kashmir.
The survey held that a government job added to a girl’s chances of getting a suitable and early match. Drying up of government jobs, however, has rendered thousands of educated youth ineligible for marriage.
“Unemployment has created sense of insecurity among the eligible. At the age of 25, persons complete his post-graduation and then wastes years in finding a job. By then, you enter into 30s,” says Amir Ahmad, an unemployed post graduate.
Late marriages come with many biological problems both in males and females. Gynaecologists say increase in infertility rate among Kashmiri women was directly related to late marriage.
Fehmeeda, 38, of Gulab bagh married at the age of 34. Her joy was short lived when after one year of her marriage doctor revealed her inability to conceive. She followed whole medication of her gynaecologist but after four years when she didn’t found any progress she decided to go for ivf treatment at Chennai.
Fahmeda sold her jewellery and her parents helped her for IVF, as treatment costs around Rs 8 lakhs.
Speaking to INS, Dr Ruheel Nissa, fertility specialist at Rotunda Hygeia, the first infertility treatment clinic in valley, said that infertility rates was a cause of concern in Valley.
“The infertility rate has increased to 50% from last year as one in every five couples in the Valley face fertility issues,” says Dr. Ruheel Nissa
The woman’s age is crucial when it comes to having successful and healthy pregnancy. After the age of 35, she says, the chances of successful pregnancy fall at a dramatic rate.
“Marrying after age of 30 causes decrease in level of hormones. With age, the quality of eggs reduces which is the main reason for the increasing infertility among Kashmiri couples,” says Dr. Ruheel.
She rejected as totally a myth that only females are susceptible to infertility problem: “both men and women can face same problem.”
“In our clinic, we almost have equal percentage of male and female cases. You can’t hold females responsible for infertility. Age plays same factor for both genders.”
Besides, she says, habit of smoking, use of pesticides by farmers also adds to infertility problem among males in Kashmir.
According to her, IVF treatment also demands to have right age. There is 60-65 per cent average success rate of fertility treatments for women below 35 years of age.
Children born to late married couples have higher chances of carrying congenital diseases or birth defects.
“Chances of reproductive tract infection and irregular ovum production are most common,” says gynaecologist Dr.Shahnaz Taing. “Due to psychological stress and anxiety of conceiving without delay, infertility increases in such women,” she adds.
The late marriage causes the “kind of imbalance” in levels of the sex hormones—estrogens and progesterone— leading to the growth of ovarian cysts. The syndrome untimely causes issues in the woman’s menstrual cycle, fertility and even her cardiac function.
Besides increased risk of infertility, women marrying late are more prone to diseases like breast cancer, hypertension, depression and diabetics, says physician Dr Nissar Mir.
Due to late marriage, a person gets lot of time for personal growth that makes him or her resistant to change, enhancing chances of marital discord, says Dr Nissar. As mental health of both the spouses gets affected, their susceptibility to divorces and even suicides rises, he adds.
